I’m from the San Francisco / Silicon Valley area, California.
and man I’m tired…
I don’t know about you, but even though motherhood is rewarding, it is so exhausting! Sometimes I literally feel like a Mombie! I used to take a lot pride and effort into putting my outfits together, doing my makeup and hair, going to foo foo places and having my Californian “tea parties” – I was a very social lady before my son. I also was very wild. Once I had my son things changed. Now I am a mommy to a wonderful little boy named Oliver. I love everything about being a mom (well, almost) and with that said, I am learning as I go and learning to trust my instincts.
I am 35 years old and a new single mother. Let me tell you I LOVE BEING A MOM. I have always wanted to be one! Before having my son, I spent 10 years working with children prior to becoming a mother. I had worked for KinderCare Learning Centers in San Mateo and Bright Horizons Family Solutions in South San Francisco. I have an degree in Early Childhood Education. I also spent time as a live-in nanny to several families before I had my own little guy. I feel like my background in Early Child Development as well as working with children, prepared me for motherhood; as my child grows I can relate to him, and anticipate his milestones. Every child is different & unique, but most importantly every child on this planet needs compassion and most importantly LOVE to thrive.
One thing however, that I had no experience whatsoever when it came to kids was how to put them to sleep at nightime, since usually that was always the parents job to do! I foolishly assumed that this sleeping business would be just the first 6 weeks and then my son would magically sleep through the night “as planned” – lol, how silly of me to make plans for my own sons behavior development! I have learned a lot since my son has been born about children’s sleep. I would like to share what I know with you.
How well your baby sleeps from early months affects not only his behavior during the day but also your feelings about him. I have often heard parents say, “He is such a good baby. We even have to wake him for feedings.” Although the parents are really just commenting on the baby’s ability to sleep, they may start thinking that their baby is “good” in the moral sense.
But you, however, are at the end of your rope. You have baby who does not fall asleep readily at night, and wakes up repeatedly during the night, or both. You are tired, frustrated, and often angry. Maybe you are even wondering if there is something wrong with your baby, or that you are a “bad parent” maybe.
You probably have gotten lots of advice from friends, relatives and even your pediatrician on how to handle the situation. “Let him cry; you are just spoiling him,” you are told, or “That’s just a phase; wait until she outgrows it” You don’t want to wait, but you are beginning to wonder if you will have to, since despite all your efforts and strategies the sleep problem persists. Often, the more you try and solve the problem, the worse it gets.
Sooner or later, you might ask yourself, “How long do I let my baby cry – all night?” And if your baby wakes up four, five, or six times a night, “Will this phase pass before we collapse from exhaustion?”
Everything seems pretty hopeless at first. Let me assure you that there is hope. With almost all of these babies, we are able at least to reduce the sleep disturbance significantly, and usually we can eliminate the problem entirely. Unfortunately however there is no *one* easy trick to solve this sleeping problem. Sleeping is a learned skill. Babies are not born with an awareness of how to put themselves to sleep so its a slow, accustomed transition to a very basic skill. It will take some “trickery” and coaxing on your part, you may have even considered bribing your baby, “If you go to sleep, I will let you watch Sesamie Street for 2 hours straight tomorrow morning” – but let me assure you there are many different methods and techniques to help your baby go to sleep, stay asleep, etc.
With my background in Early Childhood Development, my experience with children and the research that I have done, the information in this blog will help you identify the type and cause of your baby’s particular disturbance, and it will give you a variety of practical ways of solving the problem. It will help you gain an understand and perspective that your baby is just a little human being who simply has no idea how to relax themselves to slumber, how to be more patient with your baby & yourself, and how to ease your baby into sleeping independently.
And if you ever need a hand or have any questions, feel free to leave them below and I will be more than happy to help you out. I am no doctor, but I do have a degree around children and I am also a mommy, at this point in time re-sleep training my 18 month old son, who is currently going through his 18 month sleep regression. Oh joy.
Hey, its #MomLife
If you ever want sneak a peek at my life as a single mom in California, check out my Instagram story here
All the best,